I've been a businessman all my adult life, and I'll admit that for most of that time, I've eschewed any kind of advice or direction that would help me to get in touch with the spiritual or emotional side of my being. It just didn't fit within the parameters of my career or the makeup of my character. Like most executives, envisioning a CEO taking time out of a busy day to meditate, practice yoga or go to a counselor to get centered wasn't in my frame of reference. Making a profit and being successful is what centered and excited me. As my business took off, I began to pay the price for its rapid growth. As many business leaders do, I realized how lonely and difficult the job of a CEO can be. When cash flows began to erode, deep cuts and tough business decisions had to be made just to survive. I'm fortunate that during that time, the two elements of my life that I had essentially ignored were there to get me through: my wife and my kids. At this time, two things occurred to me: that I had been working and waiting for my life to get perfect in order to be happy, and that my life was never going to be perfect. With the help of several unlikely mentors, I started the process of changing the focus of my life, and I am now mentoring others to do the same. Here are 10 warning signs that may indicate you could benefit from a change in focus: - You get a knot in your stomach driving to work, thinking about the impossible list of things you have to accomplish by the day's end.
- You get a knot in your stomach driving home from work, knowing that you've once again disappointed someone by being late to — or canceling — yet another outing.
- The number of hours in your workday doubles the number of hours you sleep at night.
- Antacids and headache remedies become your constant companions, and a cocktail at the end of the day is your most reliable stress reliever.
- A lunch break either constitutes a business meeting or carry-out food eaten in fewer than 15 minutes, usually while you're checking your e-mail.
- You realize you never really talk with your staff and know nothing about them except maybe their performance outcomes.
- You avoid conversations with your spouse because they always end up in an argument about how much time you spend working or thinking about work.
- they need more of your time.
- Most of your self-worth is based on your career accomplishments and the lifestyle they have afforded you.
In order for me to change my focus, I developed six things to help me create a positive outlook each day. Maybe they'll help you stop waiting for your life to get perfect to be happy. - Daily quiet time. Mornings work best for me, but each person is different. You may want to create this time during a lunch break. Take a walk and try to clear your mind from work for 10 or 15 minutes. You may want to meditate, write down a few personal thoughts or read, but make sure the reading material is not work-related.
- Willingness to change, to appreciate a new perspective; to view your life at its deepest level with honesty; and to eliminate harsh judgments and unreasonable expectations of yourself and others. This means that you let go of the unrealistic expectations you have of yourself and others.
- Action. You don't need more knowledge to make changes; you need action to change. Don't wait for the right time -— now is the time to begin. Remember that all you need to do is make one small change and then follow it with another.
- Service to others. No effort is too small. Let someone go ahead of you in traffic, hold the elevator door open for a straggler, spend a few minutes each week getting to know a little more about a member of your staff.
- Love and forgiveness. People can't read your mind -— don't assume they know you love, appreciate or respect them. Tell them so. And, when situations go badly or someone makes a mistake, forgive them.
- Gratitude. Be grateful for all things, even the painful or stressful situations that bring change to your life. Instead of viewing life's events as good or bad, or right or wrong, see them as opportunities to change your focus.
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